A tribute to a very special person

​Among the many wonderful experiences that playing music gives us is bonding with others who share our passion for creating something that is impossible to define. I have been blessed to be able to make music with more people than I can accurately count. But one person rises above them all, my dear friend and truly my brother-from-another-mother, Andy Groag. 
 
Andy and I met in the late 1970s when both of us were recruited to play in a totally for fun band called the Geotones. Comprised of a bunch of people who worked together at U.S.G.S. in Woods Hole, it was supposed to be a one and done thing. Some folks who were organizing it for the staff at U.S.G.S. and others from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution thought it would be cool to have an “oldies” band play a few tunes, comprised of people who worked at those places. They were lacking a guitarist and a bass player but had no shortage of singers, at least a half-dozen if memory serves. I’m not sure why I was asked to join but Andy’s girlfriend at the time worked at U.S.G.S. and she talked him into doing it. He had a beat up old Guild hollowbody bass and a small amp, basically the only qualification needed to join the band. 
 
From the moment I met him at the first rehearsal we recognized almost immediately that we had a lot in common in terms of taste in music and that came down to one thing: blues! Particularly electric blues by the likes of James Cotton, Buddy Guy, Howlin’ Wolf, all three of the Kings, Muddy Waters, Albert Collins  and others. Andy was very proud of sitting in with T-Bone Walker a few years earlier at a blues bar in Cambridge.
 
The party was a huge success and everyone vowed to make it a yearly event, which it was for a while. The next year a guy named Tim Ling joined, who was a scientist at USGS but also a superb musician with monster chops on keyboard, bass and sax. He was also a GREAT singer. The Geotones were asked to play at the finish line of the Falmouth Road Race, set up on a flatbed trailer. We did it for a few years and it was great fun. Unfortunately, new members became involved and took the Geotones way too seriously so Andy, Tim and I thought: Instead of doing doo-wop tunes from the 1950s, how about we put a band together doing 60s music? That was what we grew up with. We recruited a guy named John Spiesburger to play drums and a woman named Candy Lane to sing. Bit’s ‘n Pieces was born and then and now for me it was the most pure fun I’ve ever had playing music. We played most of the bars in town that featured live rock bands plus many parties and other events. When Tim decided to quit being a poor scientist and move on to get his MBA from Stanford (!) in California to make some real money, Bit’s n’ Pieces was done. Tim's life story is incredible But that's for another time. Suffice to say, I miss him each and every day. Here's an explanation of the photos at the top of this post:

#1:  Bit's & Pieces promo photo. Sadly, (from the left) Tim, Andy, (me) Candy Lane (& John S.) are gone.
#2.: Playing at a cool restaurant in Mashpee Commons (I've forgotten the name but it was in the location now occupied by Bleu, if you're a local please remind me of the name) Played there many times and it was a terrific location. Had to find the owner who was often hiding behind the cooler in the kitchen when it was time for us to get paid, however!
#3: Having fun at one of the many post-Falmouth Road Race parties we held at our house. I'm blocking him in this photo but behind me on the red drum set was my son Matt, then about 16 years old. It was one of only two times Matt played with me in front of an audience and I treasure those times. Hoping we can do more in the future!
#4:  Playing on the Island Queen for an evening "cruise to nowhere" party. We did a dozen or so gigs on the Island Queen. Tons of fun (except for our set up area being directly over the very loud engines) but not so much for Crazy Vinnie. I did not know he was prone to severe sea-sickness and on this particular instance, our first time playing on the Queen I happened to turn around to see Vinnie's head out the window next to him as he proceeded to "chum" the waters! Most amazing part? I swear he did not miss a beat on his congas and kept right on playing!
 
Andy and I stayed close. Somehow we connected with a real character named Vinnie (most likely not his real name) who was a superb player of congas and other hand-percussion instruments. Then Steph Murphy who played rhythm guitar and sang joined us. She was and still is one of the nicest people I've ever met and she was a great addition because her voice was a perfect fit for the Americana type songs we were delving in to. Andy and I loved her; a great voice, good guitar chops but also she was and is a warm and sincere lady. Many gigs followed including a regular summer gig at a local bar/restaurant/hotel, plus New Years Eve. Unlike some bands, there were never any ego issues and it was a blast. If anything started to get a bit “heavy” it was always Andy who would crack a joke and bring us back to our senses. 
 
Andy was a good, solid bass player…most the of the time! His curse was he liked playing very much but hated to have to think about the music and the more fun he was having, the more “adventurous” his playing became. The result was sometimes leaving me to walk the musical plank looking for chord changes that were supposed to happen, but didn’t – something that made my lead breaks a real adventure at times. But really, no big deal because I loved him and his enthusiasm was contagious. My standard joke with him was: If you go before I do I will put on your gravestone, “Here lies Andrew Groag. He was just one fret off !” But he was creative and RIGHT in his musical choices way, way more than he was wrong.
 
As our musical connection progressed it was natural that our personal stories intertwined. We celebrated many shared wonderful, unforgettable experiences unrelated to music with friends and families (and more than a few bottles of good wine!) as the years passed. The last time we performed together was at a picnic held by movie director, writer and producer Alec Sulkin at his beautiful family home overlooking Red Brook Harbor. It was not the best playing we’d ever done but we had fun, Alec and his lovely wife could not have been more welcoming and the guest list was pretty amazing,  as was the food!
 
But after that, try as I might, after that gig I could never get Andy to come over and play some tunes and share dinner and drinks, just for fun. Over the last 15 years I asked him dozens of times to come play and he always has an excuse not to. His jewelry shop in Mashpee Commons and his tennis friends seemed to hold him more than anything else. But on a deeper level I think Andy was in something like mourning our previous musical experiences and the reality that those days were past and gone. The sudden and shocking death of our friend and bandmate Tim Ling (Geotones and Bits ‘n Pieces) hit Andy much harder than I realized at the time. 
 
In early March of this year, my dear friend and brother in spirit Andy Groag passed away due to complications resulting from his two-year battle with cancer. My wife Kathy and I alternated taking him up to Boston every week for his treatments over the three months preceding his passing. He said over and over how much he appreciated us doing that but to us there was no question or hesitation. We loved our friend and I feel so grateful that we were able to be together frequently on those rides up and back to Boston. As his health deteriorated there were times when very few words were spoken on this trips but Kathy and I wanted to be sure he was with friends who loved him deeply. We were heading to Florida for two months and I think both of us knew he wouldn’t last until we returned. 
 
I spoke to Andy a few days before his passing. I am absolutely sure we both knew it would be the last time. I sensed he was ready, if we ever truly are. We didn’t reminisce about the many wonderful experiences we had shared; there was really no need to do that. He again thanked me profusely for what I had done over the months before this conversation. I can’t recall the specifics of our last conversation but he certainly did not sink into woulda/coulda/shoulda territory. He was at peace and I’m sure he knew how many people loved him and that’s all that really matters in the end. His spirit, kindness, generosity, total lack of pretense and most of all, his love made everyone who was privileged to know him a better person. Goodbye, old friend.